To the People that Touch Artworks in the Museum: Keep Your Grubby Hands & Dirty Thoughts to Yourself

a fury-filled diatribe about ownership of beauty

To the everyday spectator, Macy is a beautiful girl.

That’s putting it very lightly, Macy is a gorgeous girl and a signed model. Poignantly dubbed as “Hot Macy” by her favorite celebrity chef, it’s clear and evident that Macy is gifted in the good looks department.

It may seem like being friends with a model would have its series of perks ranging from free drinks to cutting the line at the club, but the reality of going out with Macy is seeing new ways predatory behavior takes its form as all of us are forced to witness a myriad of vulgar miscreants try to trample over Macy’s boundaries and treat her like a piece of meat devoid of thought or feeling.

To note, I’m not harping on people that come up to talk to us and treat us like normal people. Those are welcome encounters that Macy and I enjoy because we like talking to new people and having real conversations. I’m not even criticizing the men that come up to Macy to hit on her and then upon learning she’s not interested, respectfully bid her goodnight and go on their merry way. What I’m actually flown into a fury about are the people that hear Macy tell them “I’m not interested and I’m married” and still have the unmitigated gall to push against her boundaries.

As we move into the summer season, rife with going out and venturing to our local queer establishments for a good time, I see these disgusting attempts more and more. Our more recent trip to a gay club on a themed night was supposed to be a fun outing until it morphed into a repeated series of grating disturbances and violations by these pathetic, non-SPF wearing degenerates who genuinely believe they’re entitled to Macy’s complete and undivided attention.

In the face of being told ‘no’, I see the rusted gears in their dilapidated mind try to process the simple word ‘no’, a word that children in preschool are taught to understand, as their brain skips over that answer in an attempt to negotiate Macy’s discomfort and even worse, her consent. These attempts would be pathetic if they weren’t so vile. Both men and women hear the boundary she sets and step a little bit farther past it to see how much they can get away with, only to wail their crocodile tears once they are met with the rejection they had already been explicitly told beforehand but were too caught up in their own disgusting selfish desires to hear.

It's the same impulse that drives people to touch paintings in museums despite the signs, the ropes, the guards. There's something about beauty that’s out of reach that makes people believe they're entitled to feel it beneath their fingertips, to claim some piece of it for themselves.

I don’t know the intentions of the men and women that were so awe-struck by Macy’s beauty that they lost all rational thought and civilized manners to conduct themselves properly, but disregarding her boundaries in the hopes she would change her mind is a sickening phenomenon that echoes the plights of nymphs from Greek antiquity. Like Apollo chasing after Daphne, pursuing her in an attempt to possess her: he frames his pursuit as though it's for her benefit, as though she's missing out on something wonderful by refusing him, when really it's all about what he wants, what he desires, what he believes he deserves simply because he wants it. And his pleas are disguised as reasonable and without harm because he’s harmless and just wants to talk to her and be near her. But his pleas are hollow when Daphne is running away from his advances, her 'no' written in every step she takes away from him.

The Greek mythology rings true even today as I see all these fiends blankly stare at Macy in an attempt to have some piece of her. It’s no surprise to me that men behave this way, but witnessing other women disregard my friend’s boundaries and comfort for their own pursuit of her drives me further into a fury of contempt. Every woman has had her comfort violated in some way at some point in her life, and you’re going to push that same discomfort onto another?

And it may seem that I am going too far, but wouldn’t you? If you saw someone you loved, someone who radiates genuine warmth, be reduced to a beautiful trophy that people want to behold at the expense of her consent and comfort?

All of my friends are beautiful and gorgeous, but in my eyes that’s the least interesting aspect about them. Yes, Macy is beautiful. She’s also kind. She offers hugs to people when they need them the most. Her eyes light up when she gets to work creatively with clothes and puts together curated fashion pieces. She really loves matcha but is sometimes scared that shards from her bamboo whisk will break off and she’ll accidentally drink them. She tears up when Pink Pony Club gets played in a crowd of queer people celebrating queer joy. These are the things that matter about Macy: her kindness, her creativity, her capacity for joy and connection.

No one is owed a closer look. Nobody is permitted to ignore the velvet ropes of consent that protect what's precious. True appreciation means understanding that masterpieces are meant to be admired from a respectful distance – and that should be more than enough.

Or else get fucked.